A health department response to an FOI request raises more questions than it answers.
Here at Allergy & Respiratory Republic we pride ourselves on taking a deep dive into the murky depths of public policy in the hope of occasionally shedding a shaft or two of light on the issues that bedevil the omnishambles we call our healthcare system.
But every so often we discover that someone else has done at least some of the hard yards for us, by asking for insight from the Department of Health, Disability and Ageing via the Freedom of Information Act.
As yet, we do not know who to thank for making the request labelled FOI 25-0472 LD, but the response from the department released this week provides an intriguing glimpse into the goings-on inside DoHDA’s Sirius building in Woden, Canberra.
The FOI request relates to correspondence from 2017 regarding the trialling of a different grade of toilet paper for the men’s lavatorial facilities on level 4 of the 10-storey office block.
The email trail that the department has now made public details a request for a trial of “very low-ply toilet paper for a week on L4 men’s” due to, and we quote directly, “an ongoing issue with a staff member blocking the toilets on a regular basis”.
As it transpires, the bean-counters at health were happy to oblige and a change from “TMS-700 Sheet Toilet Rolls (x48)” to the “ABC Premium 2ply 700 sheet” product was approved and due to be supplied once the two and a half pallets of current stock were exhausted – a timeframe then estimated to be three weeks.
Even better, the correspondence chain reveals that not only did the new loo rolls have superior degradeable qualities, they were also … drumroll, please … CHEAPER! Talk about a win-win!
As happy as we are to get the inside scoop on the department’s toileting traumas, there are some key questions that remain unanswered.
Such as:
- Who asked for this very specific correspondence to be released (reveal yourself, please) and, for the love of God, WHY?
- Does the phantom bog blocker still work for the department, and has he seen a doctor about his suspected gastroenterological issues?
- Did the cheaper low-ply paper do the trick re the blocking problem?
- Does the whole building’s staff now have to wipe their butts with the low-ply tissue, or has it just been a change made the level 4 men’s dunnies?
Indeed you, dear readers, may have even more queries related to what we are now calling “pooper-gate” and we’d be happy to hear them.
In the meantime, rest assured, your ARR newshounds will not stop chasing the scent until we get to the bottom of this story.
Flush your low-ply story tips down the intertubes to Holly@medicalrepublic.com.au.
