Burning a kilo of meth in an animal furnace seemed like a good idea at the time.
Here at Back Page HQ we really do enjoy a good old-fashioned cock-up.
Who knows why? Maybe it’s because we happily admit to making our own fair share of glorious stuff-ups, but we certainly take a level of comfort wallowing in the ineptitude of others.
While our all-time favourite debacle remains the decision by Oregon authorities back in 1970 to dispose of a rotting whale carcass by blowing it up with dynamite, a recent snafu by the FBI is certainly vying for a place on the podium.
Here’s the scenario. We are in the city of Billings, Montana, and the G-men have got their hands on about a kilo of seized methamphetamines that now needs to be disposed of.
Time for a lightbulb moment. Let’s incinerate the drugs in the furnace of the Yellowstone Valley Animal Shelter, which is usually used to cremate the centrally located shelter’s euthanised animals (sad, we know).
Now comes to the part of the story where we introduce one of our favourite questions: what could possibly go wrong?
Spoiler alert: Quite a lot.
What was meant to happen was for the burning meth to waft harmlessly into the atmosphere. What actually happened, according to reports by Associated Press, was a highly toxic cloud of stimulant vapour began to fill the building’s interior, resulting in more than a dozen shelter employees having to be evacuated and hospitalised.
One employee complained of suffering from an intense headache and a sore throat, while others experienced “dizziness, sweating, and coughing”.
Unaware that they were inhaling industrial quantities of methamphetamines, the shelter workers had stayed in the building to make sure everyone got out safely, including the more than 70 cats and dogs that lived there.
As a result, most of the staff spent hours in a hyperbaric oxygen chamber for treatment, while the animals were being closely monitored for potential lung and immune system issues.
According to a Billings assistant city administrator, the smoke got sucked back into the building because of “negative pressure”.
There was supposed to be a fan on standby to blow it back out in events like these, but the official said the fan either wasn’t ready or wasn’t turned on.
To make matters worse, it seems that no one at the shelter, not even its director, knew the drug burn was going to happen.
Apparently, this was not the first time the building had had to be evacuated due to incinerator smoke seeping into the building, but attempts by the shelter to have issue dealt with had fallen on deaf ears.
Given the potential damage this latest drama has caused, you’d think the city authorities might now be shamed into having a crack at fixing that dodgy burner.
Stay tuned.
Send your smoking hot story tips to Holly@medicalrepublic.com.au.
